I have often been in this waiting energy for the last few weeks and months- perhaps even years.
Today, I realized what was the cause of it.
I was not entirely feeling my feelings, so I thought I had to wait for something to change.
Being in this waiting energy is not pleasurable because you can’t really be in the present moment when you anticipate the next one.
Throughout my life, I experienced tens of traumas, and each pushed me to shut down more and more.
On one hand, I thought feeling my feelings was unsafe and would bring me lots of pain.
On the other hand, I thought suppressing them would give me the relief I was desperately seeking.
However, to be with yourself and eventually your beloved Twin Flame, you need to allow yourself to experience your emotions.
In the mirror exercise, a tool I use to help my clients (and myself), you heal your emotions by making more loving choices in the places you were hurt.
But if you are not making those choices out of your heart space (but in your mind), they are only affirmations, so not much change will happen.
Regarding the waiting energy from the start of the post, I am still looking for a job.
I applied for a job in the same place where my Twin Flame works.
I went through psychological testing and assessment of my knowledge required for the job position.
Then, I got invited for a job interview. It ended with a response that the commission would let me know if I got the job in the next few days.
That job interview was exactly one month ago, and still no news.
Because I often feel so disconnected from myself, this waiting feels rather painful.
Also, it makes me feel like I don’t have any power and that my destiny is in other people´s hands.
Of course, that is not the case, but the ego’s voice sometimes sounds so convincing.
To connect more with myself, I learned it is enough to drop the attention from my head and thinking- to my heart and feeling.
From my experience as a coach who has worked with many clients- most people on this journey struggle with numbing out and waiting.
They often wait for their Twin Flame to contact them, to return- they wait to feel better…
Some are even convinced, they need to wait for the next lifetime to reunite with their love.
Another thing that put me back into the waiting energy is that, in November, I applied for a green card lottery.
That is something the American government offers to diversify its country and make immigration to the USA possible for around 55000 people.
Today, I found out that my submission was not selected.
That means I would not get a visa to work and live in the USA.
I felt slightly disappointed, but deep down, I knew I was not ready to relocate so far away from my country.
Exactly that waiting energy and thinking all will be better once I have or do that keeps you in it.
Everyone was created so we can enjoy our present moments right now.
The biggest illusions our minds create are that we wait for our happiness.
How illogical it just is- if you are not feeling OK right now and don´t do anything about it, why do you think the next moment will be better?
That is just the trick of the ego that wants you to suffer.
Your power lies in not beliving its lies!