Sometimes when I was around 16, I unconsciously abandoned myself.
I remember getting several F´s in my biology class which seemed overwhelming. They made me want to give up on studying and life in general.
I was in a classroom with many students who were not gifted or particularly talented. However, they were very persistent and hard-working.
I was very smart, but since I was surrounded by lots of average classmates, I did not feel very inspired to put any effort and give my best.
I was very unmotivated and helpless, and I was struggling a lot.
In an effort to help myself, I changed high school, as I have written in my posts before.
However, I could not escape myself no matter where I went.
My problems did not go away – I just learned to quit.
Even throughout my twenties, when it seemed too hard to persist, I chose to quit on myself.
That was most prominently shown in switching colleges several times.
It was also shown in my battles with depression when I would just stay in bed instead of facing the day ahead of me.
Life was sometimes unbearable to live. My desire to quit everything led me to learned helplessness that led me to grueling depressive states.
And when you end up once in that vicious cycle, it is hard to break it.
I am currently dealing with lots of depressive feelings I have never really dealt with.
I suppressed them when they were too painful. Quitting seemed so appealing and comfortable.
But life never forgets even though you try to.
Now I am facing my demons, and it is more demanding than ever.
Mornings are especially challenging for people who quit on life – for people battling with a lack of motivation and depression.
Often it is a matter of only one choice. It is about staying in your comfort zone, your bed, or facing the day ahead of you.
In a depressive state, that choice seems so easy. – Of course, I´ll stay in bed.
Nothing pleasant awaits me if I get up. At least when I close my eyes, the pain is gone.
Afternoons are much easier for someone who suffers from depression. I often got up around 2 or 3 pm on my darkest days.
Unfortunately, I would feel lots of self-blame and guilt after realizing I wasted my morning on nothingness.
When you are depressed, you might think, why would I put any effort into anything when I can´t enjoy what most people take for granted?
Why would I wake up when there is no pleasure in life?
Why would I work when work produces even more- work?
When you are depressed, these thoughts seem so logical.
Why would I persist when all that I want is to quit?
What is the point in everything when you eventually die?
It is not easy dealing with the mind that works against you.
The key is to keep persisting even then in your darkest hours.
Your mind is lying to you. You were happy once, and you will be happy again.
That is your natural state.
Even on your Twin Flame journey, it might seem after all the diligent work that nothing is changing.
So you lose your focus, and you forget about your goals. Your Twin Flame starts to feel too far away from you.
“It is an impossible task to be with them” – you might secretly think to yourself.
This journey is too hard, the pain too deep, with no hope.
These feelings are normal. They remind us of our human nature. We are vulnerable, but at the same time, we are strong.
It is crucial to keep persisting on your Twin Flame journey because what you will get is transcendental.
You are walking this path because you are strong and because you don´t accept settling for what is merely enough.
You want everything. You desire the love of all loves. You desire true romance. Perfection.
And just because you believe there is something like that for you, you need to persist.
You only need to quit on self-imposed misery. You don´t have to quit what feels good.
Lying in bed in quitting. Not working on your purpose is quitting. Thinking you will never be in a meaningful relationship with your perfect partner is quitting. Wanting to quit when it is too difficult to move forward is just a step away from giving up. I would not recommend you that.
You can´t quit on yourself and your life. You are too important to the world.
Remember your true nature: you are unstoppable.
Love in (not so) everyday life. 