Have I Found Love?

When I first started this TF journey, I was constantly thinking when will J and I finally be together in a relationship. 

Then I was 17 and was happy even at that glimpse of the moment when I caught my eye with my TF. 

Every time I would leave my house, I would be thinking about seeing him somewhere outside perhaps. 

I was looking for that short high feeling he would give me- that warm, fulfilling, and loving feeling…

For a long time, I had a perception that I have to be around my TF to experience those wonderful feelings. 

So I was desperate to see him so I can have my short encounter of Heaven.

Life separated us from our platonic relationships and I went to college in different cities. 

You can change your place of residence, but your heart knows how home feels. 

And home was always my twin flame, so I followed that good feeling- that feeling of home. 

I experienced lots of hardships, I lived in so many different places, I tried so many things. 

Then when I was around 26, I spoke to my psychologists about this love of mine. 

I finally got the courage to text him. First I wanted to text him a blank message without any content just to catch his eye. 

However that would be cowardice, so I asked him some questions about his college. 

He replied. We texted a bit. I texted him a few times more. 

Then I texted his cousin about our conversation and she revealed to me that he was in a relationship and that he currently lives with his girlfriend.

I was devastated not knowing the fact that men´s and women´s views on cohabitation differ. 

Men see it as relationship testing, whereas women see it as a step towards marriage. 

For some time, I was distracted with my college and work, but he, my tf, was always somewhere in my thoughts.

Every morning, I would wake up with the thought of him and he would be my last thought before sleep.

He was always my idea about love, love of unconditional kind.

Little did I know that I was looking for God´s love in my TF all the time.

Have I found it? 

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