Pop Paper Love

I still sometimes feel I should control my interaction with my tf.

I want to send him text messages because of my need for control- I would like to find out how is he feeling about me or when will we meet.

Deep inside I know that I should surrender all of our stories to God or the Universe, but I am still human and therefore sometimes mistakenly go ahead of the Creator.

During my twin flame journey, I learned that it´s best to consult God on what to do next. Therefore, now I try to go into my heart where God is and talk to him. 

I share with him my struggles, my feelings, and my thoughts- and I get the best answers deep within.

I used to read other people´s experiences about relationships and would frequently identify myself with their stories. 

Often, I would think I needed to take the same steps as the people involved in them, but that´s the wrong approach.

In reality, I don´t have enough information and details about anyone´s life path and their feelings. 

Love isn´t like a science project or an experiment that can be repeated. 

Everyone´s story is different and that´s why it is sometimes hard to know what your next step would be. 

You can´t read a love story and think everything that you read will happen exactly in the same way to you.

I am guilty of comparing my life to one of my classmates, acquaintances or work colleagues- I did this without knowing all of their family´s, or work or love parameters. 

I remember having a coffee with one of my acquaintances which in the end felt like she was interrogating me. 

She was continuously asking me if I am single, how come I don´t have a boyfriend or do I like anyone?

I was still early in my studies and was traveling a lot- in a nutshell, I was leading a different life than she did. 

She had a steady boyfriend for a couple of years and already finished college and was working. 

Still, she didn´t get it that I and she are at different stages of our lives. 

Some things in your life could not be controlled- you can´t know for sure when you´ll meet the love of your life, when you´ll marry or when you will have kids.

Although you can surely plan them, they may or may not happen the way you expected.

So back to my need for control over how my love will happen- I am somewhere between letting complete control and surrender and wanting to make it happen by myself.

I read many tf stories and there it´s mentioned that love happens when you stop expecting it…It also stands there that it will happen when you least expect it.

That used to bother me before because I thought it would catch me completely unprepared, but I trust God and know that he´ll have me just enough prepared to make it incredible.